YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize