thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
