OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
