is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
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