Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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