he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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