Where did you get a picture of my penis
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
