a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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