Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
