i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the day after is always just damage control
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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