the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
