I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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