a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
