Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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