hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
