Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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