so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
40s are totally the cure
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
