you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
