New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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