i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
