My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
