I am full of burrito and curiosity
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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