found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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