sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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