oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
