she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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