oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
