Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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