Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
