Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
