so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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