I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
