theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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