I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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