I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The best revenge is premature balding
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize