A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
