bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize