I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
