Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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