Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
