i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
