areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
