He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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