i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
