I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
