Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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