it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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