I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
