Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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