Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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