Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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