u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
