Sponge bath it is.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just googled if crying burns calories
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
