I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
