I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
