I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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