Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
