No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
