Where is the hickey?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
