I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
