As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
