I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
